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By Whatever Brew Method Necessary

June 28, 2011 By admin Filed Under: Coffee Culture

Once upon a time, I was a barista. With minimal coffee training and a basic knowledge of drink proportions, I hoped my big heart for the bean would compensate for my lack of experience. When I received my first iced coffee order, I scooped a generous handful of ice cubes into a green cold ware cup. Then, I poured hot drip coffee over them. Voila, iced coffee! Or so I thought. The customer asked, “Are you out of the real iced coffee?” I’m so glad that the real iced coffee was brewed in an overnight toddy and a fraction of it was stored in a ready-to-pour pitcher.

I’ve learned a lot since that moment. Iced coffee isn’t as simple as pouring hot coffee over ice. Depending on the method – hot brew, toddy, Japanese, cold brew – iced coffee is a scientific process of reactions based upon minimal minutes to multiple hours. When asked, “Are all iced coffees created equal?” the following ten coffee fronts weighed in. Below, learn about their methods, what they’re planning for summer and the type of coffee break you can expect when you’re ready for cool relief from what we hope is an endless hot summer.

Coffee Shop: Naidre’s : 384 7th Ave btwn 11th and 12th
Bean: Counter Culture
Method: Japanese
Process: Beans are weighed and finely ground. Hot water is filtered onto an even spread of grinds, with an exit over ice. The double strength brew cools instantly maintaining flavor and strength.
Summer Expectations: Seasonal direct trade beans. “Our coffee flavor changes based upon the bean, but there’s always a note of chocolate when you cold brew,” says manager Jesse Auguste. The café has a kitchen with a full menu. Sweet treats and vegan desserts (try the carrot cake) area made in-house. Ask for their picnic basket specials – perfect for a play date in Prospect Park or a concert at Celebrate Brooklyn!
Cost: 2.50 – $3.75 for 12-24 oz

Roots Cafe

Coffee Shop: Roots Café : 639A 5th Ave btwn 18th and 19th
Bean: Stumptown
Method: Overnight Brew
Process: Starting with their Stumptown house blend, a big pot is brewed and left to chill overnight. To compensate for ice watering down the coffee ¼ of additional ground beans are used to a pot of iced coffee as compared to a regular one.
Summer Expectations: Owner Jamey Hamm will “serve whatever you want, within reason.” So feel free to ask for traditional drinks like an espresso over ice. If you’re inclined to linger, there’s a little backyard patio where lounging is welcome and you can hear live music every week.
Cost: Espresso over Iced $2.75|16 oz Iced Coffee $3.00|Iced Latte $4.75

Coffee Shop: Café Martin : 355 5th Ave btwn 4th and 5th
Bean: Strongtree Heirloom
Method: While Martin doesn’t disclose the how of his iced brew, he says “quality is in the experience.” He discovered the Hudson Valley Roaster by accident and chose them based on taste alone.
Summer Expectations: Martin says expect something “strong, flavorful and amazing.” While he admits – with a smirk – to having an ego, he wants you to come into his self-named, austere café for accessible community, free of the encumbrance of WI-FI and laptops. Under brass pipes, tin ceilings, sit on an old church pew while you peruse the day’s paper, linger with The London Review of Books, and later this season, stay for beer and wine.
Cost: Iced Coffee $2:50

Coffee Shop: Zora Art Space : 315 4th Ave btwn 2nd and 3rd
Bean: Fair Trade, Organic
Method: Owner Zohrah has a simple process which she says yields “great coffee.” It is hot brewed then chilled.
Summer Expectations: This multi area-art space is named after the owner who took a liking to literary great Zora Neale Hurston. It’s a launching spot for young artists, providing a local alternative to showcase music and host book parties. A full calendar of events includes film screenings, art exhibitions and alfresco events in the backyard garden.
Cost: $3.00 Iced Coffee

4&20 Blackbirds

Coffee Shop: 4&20 Blackbirds : 439 3rd Ave btwn 7th and 6th
Bean: Irving Farm
Method: Cold Brew
Process: It starts with a single-origin sustainably sourced bean. A medium grind is used with fresh cold filtered water overnight for 12 hours.
Summer Expectations: Handmade tables and a hand-painted rug adorn this high ceilinged, open spaced, sun-filled communal corner spot. The shop rotates four to five pies daily. Fruit pies this summer include nectarine blueberry, stone fruit crumble and strawberry balsamic. A slice of farm fresh fruit pie and single origin iced coffee is a great refresher in the summer. Whether you stay in-house or take your coffee to go, the quality provides just the break you’re looking for.
Cost: $2.50 – $3

Coffee Shop: Red Horse Café : 497 6th Ave btwn 11th and 12th
Bean: Barrington Coffee
Method: Hot Brew, Ice Sticks
Process: After a fresh hot brew, coffee sits until it’s at a temperature cool enough to chill in the fridge. Ice sticks are brewed and frozen to retain bean strength when the ice melts. At times, hot coffee gets a cold pitcher bath to accommodate summer demand.
Summer Expectations: RHC’s ice sticks are a summer feature for their iced coffee. You can experience them in other iced drinks upon request. Flexible owners Carolina and Brett love coffee and experimenting with it. This summer, SoCo Creamery joins the menu. Ask for the affogato, two shots of espresso into traditional flavors of ice cream.
Cost: $3.25 affogato

Cafe Grumpy

Coffee Shop: Café Grumpy : 383 7th Ave btwn 11th and 12th
Bean: Grumpy Roastery
Method: Toddy
Process: It starts with quality seasonal beans. A full cold brew concentrate extracts overnight, coaxing notes of bourbon, with water dilution.
Summer Expectations: Their hand-picked beans from green sellers are the center of what co-owner Caroline says creates “a different environment for a coffee shop. Our focus is coffee and representing the hard work of a commodity that isn’t cheap.” The espresso bar is a great place to sit and the communal table provides a nice lookout point to perch. Iced lattes are a summer fave. Bring your own cup and get 25 cents off the price of your drink. This quirky, yet relaxed space asks for a few minutes of your downtime.
Cost: $3.25 – $4.50

Coffee Shop: Southside : 656 6th Ave btwn 17th and 18th
Bean: PT’s, Counter Culture
Method: Toddy
Process: Coffee is coarsely ground, extracted overnight in water at room temperature, yielding a super smooth and super sweet profile.
Summer Expectations: You never know what will be brewing or playing at this shop where eclectic meets minimalist. Iced Coffee is sometimes brewed with any of the above beans with a sweet note. While, espresso-based iced drinks have chocolate, caramel and nuttiness. While you wait for your drink the soundtrack ranges widely – from Public Enemy to Cesaria Evora, according to co-owner Ben Jones.
Cost: One size $3-3:50

Coffee Shop: Has Beans : 620 5th Ave btwn 17th and 18th
Bean: Primarily a French bean
Method: Brews 1 ½ times the regular strength to compensate for the melting of ice.
Summer Expectations: Owner Peggy has been in the bean business for more than 30 years, eight at this location. She pulls espresso-based shots of iced coffee from a white and silver Elektra machine. Cinnamon hazelnut is offered as a flavored brew. Wi-Fi and computer rentals are available to use while you enjoy your drink. Inside you will find Peggy working shifts, playing a Pandora shuffle of blues, and serving Red Mango vegan pastries. Gluten free cookies are coming soon. “Without the customers what am I?” asks Peggy. “This is a place for everybody, and we give people what they want.”
Cost: 16 oz $2.50|24 oz $3.50

Tea Lounge

Coffee Shop: Tea Lounge : 837 Union Street btwn 6th and 7th
Bean: Benbows, FT & Organic
Method: Hot Brew
Process: The daily hot brew is chilled in the fridge without ice. If sugar or sweetener is requested with an order, baristas start with a bit of hot coffee to dissolve the crystals, then add the iced coffee.
Summer Expectations: In addition to iced coffee, there are four ready-made iced teas – green, black, herbal and fruit – in addition to fresh iced chai. Specialty iced drinks include their “Rocket Fuel,” which is espresso over ice with a little half and half. If your tasetbuds are flavor-inclined, try the Nutella Breve – espresso, hazelnut coffee and chocolate over ice.
Cost: 16-24 oz $2.75- 3.75

Awaken Your Inner Yogi

June 28, 2011 By admin Filed Under: Yoga

Anyone who is even slightly aware of yoga knows that it’s a recreational activity that may be practiced by just about anyone – young or old, fit or rotund.

And if you’re committed to the practice, you’ll begin to see impressive results, such as longer, leaner muscles, increased flexibility and balance, and, according to the most recent research, improvements in cognitive function, including memory skills. Other reports claim that regularly practicing yoga may make people better equipped to deal with mild to moderate pain (without the support of medication) as well as improve insomnia and reduce stress.

In 2010, the Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine reviewed more than 80 national research studies that examined the health benefits of yoga and found overwhelming evidence that the ancient practice is “as effective or better than exercise at improving [a person’s overall] health.” As a result, doctors everywhere are recommending yoga and meditation to both healthy and diseased patients as a method to improve and restore good health.

Some people think that yoga is just about stretching, but there is much more to it. Learning from a professional instructor is useful, as he or she can help you improve your technique and avoid injuries, such as overextending your stretches and possibly pulling a muscle. However, once you master some basic techniques, yoga is something you can tap into for the rest of your life, either on your own or with a master yogi by your side. To get you started, we’ve rounded up a few of our favorite places to bend and breathe. Namaste!

Photo courtesy of Bend & Bloom Yoga

Bend & Bloom Yoga
bendandbloom.com
708 Sackett Street (b/w 4th and 5th Aves) Brooklyn, NY (347)
987-3162
Bend & Bloom is a gorgeous new studio that offers more than 50 yoga classes each week in various skill levels. Bend & Bloom teachers nurture new yogis to help them develop a life-long love of yoga. They offer regular monthly beginner workshops designed to help students feel confident in their first class. In the workshops, students explore foundational asanas (yoga postures), proper alignment, pranayama (breath) and meditation. Students also learn how to use yoga props to ease tight muscles and to cultivate a healthy, safe practice. Advanced and intermediate yoga, prenatal, kids, and family yoga classes are also regularly available. Availability: Both early morning (7:00AM) and late-night (9:15PM) classes are held daily. Check online schedule for further details. Amenities: Plenty of one-on-one attention and free ginger snaps and tea after every session. Also, since Bend & Bloom a two studio space, parents with young children can enlist them in a simultaneous (but separate) children’s yoga lesson. Mat rentals are available. Cost: $99/month unlimited membership; three-class workshops for beginners are typically offered monthly ($30); two weekly community classes and a work-exchange program (help clean the studio or assist at the desk in exchange for class credits) are also available to those who require financial assistance. Drop-in classes range from $14 to $18 per class. Bonus: A variety of ongoing weekend workshops further immerse people in their practice with sessions dedicated to beginners and those seeking advanced instruction, including learning to teach. Check website for further details.

Bikram Yoga
bikramyogaparkslope.com
555 Fifth Avenue Brooklyn, NY
(718) 788-3688
Founded by native Indian Bikrum Choudhury, Bikram Yoga of Park Slope (one of many Bikram Yoga Centers in New York City) welcomes beginners and those who are more familiar with yoga to go through 26 Hatha yoga postures in a heated environment. The uniqueness of the session, during which the room is heated to 105 degrees Fahrenheit, enables sore muscles to stretch with less pain. The heated room also promotes sweating and the release of toxins from the body. Note: No latecomers will be admitted; it is recommended that you arrive 20 minutes before classes begin. Availability: the Fifth Avenue location and 7:00AM at Flatbush Avenue. Both studios are open throughout the day and late evening classes are scheduled at 7:30PM and 8:00PM. Amenities: Changing rooms and showers; towel and mat rentals. Cost: Single class ($20); five classes ($90); 10 classes ($170) and up. Unlimited 30-day and 90-day passes are also available at $175 and $465, respectively. Bonus: Members may switch between both Brooklyn locations, which each have their own character, schedules, and staff . Sign up for Bikram Yoga’s e-mail list for discounts.

Photo courtesy of Bodhisattva Yoga

Bodhisattva Yoga
bodhisattvayoga.com
442 Ninth Street (at 7th Ave), 2nd Fl. Brooklyn, NY
(718) 449-YOGA
Bodhisattva Yoga provides individualized instruction (classes are limited to fewer than 12 people) and emphasizes the importance of establishing a basic foundation to yoga and its approaches, including a type of Vinyasa yoga created by Vivekan, the studio’s founder. Each class is individually tailored to the skill level of its participants. Th e studio, which is located in a classic Brooklyn brownstone, is warm and inviting with refinished wooden floors and the scent of natural Tibetan incense. Latecomers are admitted, but please try to be on time. Availability: Early-morning classes are given daily beginning at 7:00AM and some late nights (10:00PM) are also available. Patrons may view schedule online to make reservations. Amenities: Changing rooms and mat rentals and props (blocks, straps) are available. Cost: First class ($10); one month unlimited pass ($95). Bonus: Ongoing weekend workshops, retreats, and teacher training sessions are scheduled in a variety of skill levels. Check website for more details.

Kundalini Yoga
kundaliniyogaparkslope.com
473 Thirteenth Street (b/w Prospect park West and 8th Ave) Brooklyn, NY
(718) 832-1446
Kundalini Yoga in Park Slope is part of the 3HO Foundation, a non-profit foundation based in New Mexico that offers the teachings of Kundalini Yoga in centers throughout the world. Kundalini Yoga combines posture, movement, breath, meditation, mantra, and relaxation to work on your body, mind, and spirit. Classes combine moments of meditation and relaxation as well as working through various postures. Beginners and those experienced with yoga attend in classes that are oft en mixed. Drop-ins are encouraged. Kundalini Yoga works to balance the glandular system, stimulate the nervous and immune systems, and improve strength and flexibility. Availability: Early morning (7:00AM) and evening classes available; closed Fridays. Amenities: Yoga mats are provided free of charge. Cost: Each class is $15 or six classes for $75. Bonus: Information about workshops and other one-time events can be found on the website or by subscribing to the Kundalini Yoga e-mail list.

Photo courtesy of Yogasana Center for Yoga

Yogasana Center for Yoga
yogasanacenter.com
118 Third Avenue (at Wyckoff/St. Marks)
(718) 789-7255
Yogasana Center was founded by Kristen Davis to teach the subtle aspects of alignment-based yoga by assembling some of New York City’s best yoga teachers. From years of self-study and acquired knowledge, Yogasana teachers have more than a decade of training and provide thoughtful, individualized attention, helping students develop a stronger, more flexible body, a calmer nervous system, a quieter mind, and a connection to their own true nature. Yogasana instructors are firmly rooted in the Iyengar tradition, known for its precision in alignment, its use of props to facilitate balance, and its slower more methodical pace and sequencing. Latecomers are only admitted at the discretion of the teacher; please be at least 15 minutes early for your first class. Availability: Early-morning classes (7:00AM) are typically available twice weekly. Check schedule for individual class times and reservations. Amenities: Lots of props and ropes to guide you through the poses and plenty of individualized attention. Plus, separate changing rooms and a bright, airy space. Cost: Classes include a six-week beginner series; beginner, intermediate, and advanced drop-in classes ($18); Yogasana Kids (infant to teenager); pre-natal, restorative, and back care drop-in classes; and an advanced studies/500+ hour teacher training program. First class special is $10. Bonus: Ongoing workshops are available; check website for details. Free trial classes are available for children.

Mixing Media and Ideas

June 28, 2011 By admin Filed Under: Friends & Neighbors

A Guide to Summer Park Slope Art

“How do we get a sense of ourselves when we truly are in a network culture of speed?” asks Park Slope artist Marc Lafia. For Marc, network culture is a way to define, map, and express ourselves in new ways. For Oliver Trager and John Manno, it’s a challenge of reinvention and rediscovery. And for Marney Fuller, network culture is an opportunity to teach others how to participate in an artistic conversation. These artists explore the changing ways we communicate and define ourselves through their own lens. They are the thinkers who give the Park Slope art community its voice, whether it’s a fascination with insects, mushrooms, baseball, film theory, or an old wooden chair.

“I like to reintroduce the familiar in an unexpected way,” says Marney Fuller, a painter, sculptor, and teaching artist who is the mind behind the whimsical insect sculptures that grace the side of PS 107 on 8th Avenue and 14th Street. When her son was a student in 2008, Marney approached principal Cyntia Holton with the project as a way to get students from every grade and skill level involved in the process of making public art. “It really takes a trusting, thinking-outside-the-box principal to accept my proposal, for me to say ‘Hey, can I hang some huge insects on the side of your building? And guess what, I’ll have your kids help me do it.’” After weeks of collaborative student effort under Marney’s guidance, the spider was the first to appear on the brick building, and in April 2011 it was joined by a caterpillar and a butterfly. Not only has the project been a successful introduction to public art and installation, but it gave the students the opportunity to experience being a literal part of their artistic environment.

Marney is also the founder of the Artist Workshop Experience, a five-week summer art program she runs from her Dumbo studio. AWE accepts artists ages nine to sixteen, and Marney hires Pratt students and graduates to teach a wide selection of disciplines including painting, sculpture, graffiti, printmaking, and photography. “All the kids that come there, it’s their opportunity, they’re around people interested in art, and they’re excited about it and they think about it, and that’s what art should be about.” Aside from AWE and her paintings, Marney plans to pursue multiple public art projects this summer.

Inside Cocoa Bar on 7th Avenue, professional still-life photographer John Manno explains his preference for inanimate objects over people: “In still-life, I can make juxtapositions, form, shape, textures, light that are more visually interesting – all the things you don’t really pull out with a person,” he says. “And if even if you did, you’re still looking for more meaning behind that. All right, so you’ve got the stubble of his beard or the sparkle in the eye, but what does that mean?” He explores this idea in his ongoing series “Chair,” where he photographs the same wooden chair in snow, subway stations, beaches, stairwells – the list keeps growing. “I get odd looks,” he says with a shrug. “I traipse it through the park, and in snow, and I spend a lot of time in Red Hook,” one of his favorite spots to photograph in the city.

John has shot both editorial and commercial campaigns for companies and firms like BBDO, JWT, Digitas, Conde Nast, Michelob, and Procter & Gamble and will also teach a photography workshop at the School of Visual Arts in June. He considers himself lucky to still be a working still-life photographer at a time when online stock photos dominate most of the competition, but it’s clear through seeing his work that he enjoys the challenge. “As an artist, you’re only as good as what you’re currently working on,” he says. “You have to constantly reinvent yourself. You have to constantly come up with something new.”

On a bench in Prospect Park, writer, editor, and filmmaker Oliver Trager describes his inspirations: “My work tends to deal with the 50s. I have a love for the Beats, the Charlie Parker era, Bobby Thomson…those are subjects that speak to me, and I like to write about what I love.” Oliver is the author of three books: Keys to the Rain: The Definitive Bob Dylan Encyclopedia (Billboard Books, 2004), The American Book of the Dead (Fireside, 1997), and Dig Infinity!: The Life and Art of Lord Buckley (Welcome Rain Publishers, 2002), and he has also worked as a writer, researcher, and script consultant on several films including Tales of the Rat Fink (2006) and Know Your Mushrooms (2009). Most recently he started a blog called Painting the Word Picture, where he writes about the art and history of baseball on the radio.

“What every writer wants to do is find their voice, which is the hardest thing to do,” Oliver says. “You tell a story. You tell it to death. Then when you actually sit down to write it, you’ve already rehearsed it in some fashion.” This discipline might come from Oliver’s 24 years working as a managing editor at Facts on File, news article journal and database. He isn’t the only exceptional reference writer in the family – his father James Trager is best known for authoring the comprehensive Chronology books including The People’s Chronology, The Food Chronology, and The New York Chronology, among others. For his most recent project “All Cylinders,” Oliver has taken his father’s most recent chronology on the automobile and translated it into an online space where he plays with the possibilities of organizing a subject’s history through use of images, chronology, and text. “You can read a history book and find out all there is to know about a certain subject, but history happens in cross currents,” he says. “Things are happening in India in 1492 for instance, but we don’t really hear about that so much. So the idea is you get to really see all these things that are happening at the same time.”

This interest in non-linear history is also shared by Marc Lafia, a filmmaker and philosopher interested in network thinking and collaboration. “Power is dispersed through a number of different kinds of networks,” he says in his home on 6th Avenue during a break from editing his newest film. In addition to being the founder and architect of award-winning website Art + Culture, Marc has filmed, edited, directed, and written many films ranging from commissioned works to experimental expressions both online and in galleries like the Whitney Museum of American Art.

In his newest project Remake/Unmake, Marc shows a film to both older and younger generations of different international cities who then reenact and discuss it through their perspectives in culture and time. He has already brought Remake/Unmake to Shanghai, Ljubljana, Abu Dhabi, Rio de Janeiro, and New York and plans to expand to other cities as well. “We examine a film through what the older generation thinks is critical and promising about it as well as what energy the younger people say the film carries today and how far away it is from the promise they had. So it is a way to gather around a text, talk about it, and look at how representations change in cinema.” Marc is also working on a documentary called Empires with Park Slope neighbor and former Criterion producer Johanna Schiller where they interview political philosophers, social theorists, and network theorists in an attempt to map the global network of ideas and senses in history and “connect with people across cultures, across ideas, and find ways to be expressive and investigate the currency of ideas that gives shape to us.”

To Marc, we’re always becoming through our community, relationships, and sense of time – “the multiple vectors in which we’re living.” For all artists, exploring these vectors is the key to lending a unique perspective to the community, whether it’s a photographer who loves the rustic charm of Red Hook, a painter who also sculpts enormous arachnids and insects, a writer who can encyclopediafy any subject, or a filmmaker who takes multitasking to a new level. The difference lies in their mediums, motivations, and processes, and for these four Park Slopers, summer is only the beginning of a new idea.

Seeking Out Sweat

June 28, 2011 By admin Filed Under: Outside

A guide to getting fit in Park Slope

It’s summer—time to take advantage of the long, warm days and get active. Whether you enjoy team sports, structured classes, the creativity of dance, or something as simple as a neighborhood walk, Park Slope is a haven for both serious athletes and those looking for fun. If you’re seeking advice on where to go and what to do this summer, start here in Brooklyn. You’re likely to find what you want right around the corner, often at little or no cost.

Nothing could be more affordable or enticing than one of Park Slope’s greatest landmarks: Prospect Park, the famous public space designed, created, and landscaped by Frederick Law Olmsted and Calvert Vaux in the mid-nineteenth century. Walk the full loop to cover just over 3 miles. Or step it up by running around the park’s perimeter. It’s easy to put on your sneakers and hit the pavement. Almost immediately after entering the park, sunlight lawns, distinctive buildings, and pathways shaded by grand, old trees greet visitors—all perfect for athletes who enjoy taking in outdoor scenery while keeping fit.

For those who prefer running in groups or organized races, there’s no dearth of options. Three groups organize runs and events in the park: the Prospect Park Track Club (www.pptc.org, 718-595-2049), Brooklyn Road Runners Club (www.brooklynroadrunners.org), and New York Road Runners Club (www.nyrr.org , 212-860-4455).

Bikers can also join organized events in the park. Five Saturday events will be held in Prospect Park as part of the Kissena Cycling Club’s Lucarelli & Castaldi cup series of races. These races start early in the morning on June 18, June 26, July 23, August 6, and August 7. According to club president Dan Reiner, they “represent some of the finest racing in the Northeast, and attract riders from all over the region. There are races for all levels, from beginners all the way up to professionals.” Plus, you have the chance to win custom jerseys and bib shorts if you qualify as a leader in several of the series events. Anyone interested in participating or learning more can email president [at] kissena [dot] info or visit www.kissena.info.

Two other organizers of major bike races include the Metropolitan Cycling Association (www.newyorkbikeracing.com) and Kissena Sports Project (www.kissenasports.com).

The Park itself holds classes at the Prospect Park Tennis Center. The outdoor tennis season opened on May 21. Visit the “Prospect Park Tennis Center” section of www.prospectpark.org for schedule information and details on adult group classes, beginner instruction, evening leagues, doubles nights on Thursdays, and the junior development program.

Another way to get fit and take advantage Prospect Park’s outdoor setting is to sign up for Bootcamp Republic (www.bootcamprepublic.com, 646-460-6787). This group exercise program offers ongoing three-week fitness sessions. Choose from either 6–7:30 a.m. or 7–8:30 p.m. time slots for the following periods: June 21–July 7, July 19–August 4, and August 16–September 1. When asked to tell us about the program, founder Serena Puerta emailed, “We use the natural surroundings of the park and your own body weight to get you fit! … We are a friendly (non-militaristic), motivational fitness bootcamp which is great for weight loss, toning, strengthening, and increasing endurance and energy levels.”

For those who prefer indoor classes or exercise with a practical purpose, check out 10-year-old New York Self Defense Wing Tzun and Latosa Escrima (www.BrooklynWT.com, 646-369-7704). Wing Tzun is a Chinese self-defense system that trains students to redirect an attacker’s energy against himself. Th e school also teaches Latosa Escrima, a Filipino martial arts program. While the instructors’ goal is to teach self defense rather than martial arts to working professionals, “we do keep our students in good shape,” says head instructor Sifu/Guro Edgar Rotger. “Our school works like a small community and everyone is very friendly … we have people—male and female—of all ages, 18–75.” Test out the school by taking a free trial class. Those who like what they see can register for classes held on Wednesday evenings, Sunday mornings, and Sunday evenings. Contact the school for additional details.

A few other schools that focus on martial arts include Yee’s Hung Ga (www.yeeshung-ga.com), Amerikick (www.amerikick.com/schools/brooklyn.htm), and Shihan Monte Allen’s Brooklyn Kenshikaikan Karate-Do (www.monteallenkarate. com).

If you are artistically inclined, summer is the ideal time to try Raizes do Brasil Capoeira Brooklyn‘s dance classes (www.capoeirabrooklyn.com, info [at] capoeirabrooklyn [dot] com, 646-492- 4221). It holds Saturday classes outdoors in Prospect Park and other locations. Ana Costa, the school’s co-director and an instructor, said that “Capoeira comes from Brazil (i.e. hot and tropical!). There is no better time to enjoy Capoeira than in the beautiful, humid, and hot Brooklyn summer. Sweating, training on the grass and sand, and getting a class and a sauna all for the price of one!”

Other local dance schools include Th e Dance Studio of Park Slope (www.thedancestudiops.com) and Salsa Salsa Dance Studio (www.salsasalsadancestudio.com).

Both adults and children will find dancing fun at Spoke the Hub, (www.spokethehub.org, spoke [at] spokethehub [dot] org, 718-408-3234), which runs Camp Gowanee and offers everything from ballet, musical theater jazz, ballroom and Polynesian dance to yoga, physical theater, and clowning. Elise Long, artistic director and founder of Spoke the Hub, said that while the summer program “is always mega-fun, we want kids to learn something and come away with new skills, self-discipline, and knowledge at the end of each week.” Spoke the Hub hosts students in its five professional, air-conditioned, dance and arts studios at its art centers (one on Union Street and one on Douglass Street).

Another idea for kids is to join the Brooklyn AYSO 473 soccer program. AYSO (American Youth Soccer Organization) is a nationwide non-profit organization that develops and delivers quality youth soccer programs in a fun, family environment. Th is group sponsors a two-week summer camp at the Parade Grounds in Prospect Park. Th is year’s camp runs July 5–July 8 and July 11–July 15. Staff ed by experienced, professional coaches and having an 8:1 supervision ratio, the camp provides exciting challenges to new and emerging players as well as experienced players. The camp will take players’ skills to the next level. Registration is open through mid-June. Visit www.brooklynayso.org and click on “Summer Camp” to download forms and contact information.

Finally, families can take advantage of several summer activities at the Prospect Park YMCA (www.ymcanyc.org). The director of fund development and communications, Megan King, told us that the YMCA offers a “summer camp, free monthly family events at both the Prospect Park Y and Park Slope Armory Y, and a variety of free and fee-based programs that focus on youth development, healthy living, and social responsibility.” Past monthly family events include ping pong tournaments, a “Super Get Messy Party” that encouraged family art-making, a “Sustainable Art Part” in which the kids recreated Brooklyn with found objects, and more. The YMCA makes special efforts to help kids financially through its Strong Kids Campaign, an annual fundraising program that provides financial assistance on memberships, camp and fee-based programs as well as free programming.

These are just a few of the many ways Park Slopers can get out and get in shape this summer. No matter what activity, program, or school you choose, putting in the extra effort will balance out all the BBQs to come!

Fun in the Summertime

June 15, 2011 By admin Filed Under: Reader Recommendations

Park Slope has so much to offer during the summer. Here’s a look at the things we find new and exciting this season. If you have something you would like to share, send it along to us at office@psreader.com.

A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC

Celebrate Brooklyn! – Concerts in Prospect Park
The beautiful thing about living close to Prospect Park is that you have all the benefits of a back yard without having to do the mowing. During the summer, the park burst with activity. Day and night you will find ways to occupy your time. My absolute favorite way to spend a summer evening is by taking in a free concert at the band shell. The space is large enough to accommodate a crowd, without feeling cramped. There are options to sit in chairs, close to the stage or to bring a blanket and enjoy a picnic on the hill, as you take in the surroundings as a whole. There isn’t a bad seat in the place. Performers cross all music styles to suit any mood. Dance your heart out to Latin beats, sing-along with Dan Zane, relax with the Philharmonic, or just try something new. This eclectic series runs throughout the summer. For a full listing, visit www.bricartsmedia.org.

SOMETHING FOR YOUR SUMMER READING LIST

Dewey Decimal System by Nathan Larson [Akashik Books]
Akashik, a Park Slope-based publisher brings you post-apocalyptic noir set in New York City. The city is ravished and desolate after a series of attacks followed by a flu pandemic. Dewey Decimal, dealing with the day-to-day perils of life, finds solace in the public library taking stock of its collection. His memory spotty, the war-vet makes his way working as an enforcer for the questionable District Attorney. As what appears to be a simple assignment becomes more complicated, Dewey finds himself questioning what is the truth and who he can trust. Snarky, cynical and written with a vernacular all it’s own, Dewey Decimal System is the perfect page-turner for summer.

A SIMPLE SLICE OF HEAVEN

South Brooklyn Pizza
447 First Street at Seventh Avenue (718) 832-1022
63 Fourth Avenue at Bergen Street (718) 399-7770
Mon-Sun 12pm-4am
There is definitely something to be said for simplicity, especially when it comes to food. I admire the confidence to do one thing and do it well – and South Brooklyn Pizza Does pizza well. The original Carroll Gardens pizzeria has opened two spots in Park Slope, covering both north and south. Perhaps you have noticed the newly painted façade across the street from P.S. 321. It’s tiny, offering a few well-positioned tables inside and on the sidewalk. The menu is incredibly simple – pizza, Margherita or Sicilian (Grandma Pie), by the slice or entire pie. There are no other options and once you taste their delicious pizza, you will realize that it’s perfect as is. If you’re looking to finish with something sweet, they even offer chocolate chip cookies.

COOK LIKE A MASTER

Truly Mexican by Roberto Santibanez [Wiley, Johnson & Sons, Inc.]
If you haven’t yet had a meal at Fonda (434 Seventh Avenue) you are missing out on a truly great experience. Chef Roberto Santibanez clearly loves food, loves cooking and, fortunately, is happy to share. Flip through his cookbook. At first glance, the recipes in his book Truly Mexican seem complicated. But they are not. Chef Santibanez takes great care to explain the ingredients, their textures, nuances and flavors. What he offers is more than recipes, but instead a new approach to cooking. Instructions explain the desired outcome rather than just descriptions of what to do. He takes into account variations in sizes and temperatures. Read carefully and you will learn technique. Truly Mexican is about the building blocks of Mexican cuisine, focusing on the sauces – salsas, moles and adobos. Once you learn the basics there are a number of variations. The differences in the ingredients may be slight, the outcome not so. Master the basics and you will find a whole new realm of cooking.

THE URBAN DRIVE-IN

Rooftop Cinemas
What’s better than relaxing in the night-time air and watching a movie? The only thing that makes this experience better is having the city skyline as your backdrop. Like an urban version of the drive-in, the non-profit organization Rooftop Cinemas brings cinema to the open air. Because the screenings are above the city streets, the urban landscape and its noises fall away. Your focus is on the cinema experience. The Rooftop Cinemas Summer series brings a variety of films to rooftops throughout Manhattan and Brooklyn. Recognized as one of the “most dynamic film festivals in the world,” the summer schedule includes films from a wide range of genres– shorts, documentaries, family films, and the truly independent are all represented. You can see the Summer Series schedule and purchase tickets on their website www.rooftopfilms.com.

PROJECTS FOR A RAINY DAY

ScrapKins Build-It Book Volume 1: 12 Things You Can Make From Junk! by Brian Yanish [Crackle Press]
Welcome to Scrap City where you will meet The ScrapKins: Wrecks, Swooper, Itcher, Chomper, Digger and Stacker. With them, you will learn how to create fun projects out of the items that end up in our garbage bins. The ScrapKins come from a New York and Brooklyn-based creative organization that aims to “encourage creativity and resourcefulness through stories and recycled art projects.” The book offers a variety of opportunities for kids to express themselves. The templates include simple illustrated instructions that allow kids to take the creative reigns. More complex projects and require the assistance of an adult, which provides the perfect opportunity for adults to get involved and creative. ScrapKins Build-It Book is recommended for kids 6-9 years old. Visit www.scrapkins.com to learn more about The ScrapKins and find free projects.

SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL TEAM

Brooklyn Cyclones
I can’t think of a better way to spend a summer day than going to Coney Island for a Cyclones game. I’ll be honest I’m not much of a sports fan, but I do catch the fever when I’m out seeing this minor league team. The stadium, MCU Park, is smaller than the major league ones, which brings you up close to the action. The Cyclones (a farm team for the Mets) play solid baseball against other division teams – their biggest rival is the Staten Island Yankees. During the sweltering heat, the sea air is refreshing. It’s a day at the beach, with baseball. And it’s a full day. Get in before the game for a ride on the Cyclone roller coaster and a walk along the boardwalk. During the game pick up a Nathan’s hot dog (the original location is just down the block). Fireworks follow Friday and Saturday games throughout the summer, rounding out the perfect experience. Regular season play lasts through September 4th. To see the full schedule and purchase tickets visit the Brooklyn Cyclone’s website, www.brooklyncyclones.com.

Power Out

March 24, 2011 By admin Filed Under: Local Literature

Tom said, “Listen to this. Due to extensive cuts in the quarter’s revised operational budget, Franklin City Council has called for an immediate restriction of municipal power usage between 10 p.m. and 4 a.m. Mayor Barclay encourages Franklin residents to make use of their porch and garage lights if they need to be outdoors at night.”

At ten o’clock the streetlamps faded, held dimly for a moment in the neighborhood dark then clicked off completely, bathing the streets in silence and night.

“Still,” Layla says to Tom over the paper, “We’ve got it better than Newark. They’ve eliminated twelfth grade.”

Jake was upstairs showering again. The ceiling had already started to drip steadily and soon the droplets would come together to form a stream that would make a puddle on the carpet. Tom’s policy was not to knock on the bathroom door until the stream had formed, lest he deny Jake the freedom and space he needed to grow up to be a healthy, functional adult.

“That kid showers at all hours of the night. I don’t understand.”

Layla put the paper down. The parts of her facial mask that had dried wrinkled when she spoke. “He’s a teenage boy, what else is there to understand?”

“Even a fourteen year old can’t commit that much self-abuse. The shower can’t even be all of it. We know the shower isn’t all of it.”

Layla shrugged, which Tom loved best of all of her nonverbal responses. It was beautiful. Her shrug deflected all harm. Her hair rearranged itself on her shoulders in a way that was somehow almost more beautiful than the shrug itself but the shrug had the benefit of being the thing that started the whole chain reaction.

“I don’t think it’s safe for him to be showering at night now. What if the power goes out? And if he doesn’t get out of that shower eventually the ceiling will fall down.”

“I forgot to tell you that a chunk fell off last night. It’s on the fireplace. On the part of the fireplace that would be the porch if a fireplace were a house.”

A book-sized flake of drywall sat propped against the remains of last winter’s firewood.

When Layla became pregnant Tom finally understood the phrase “the miracle of life” and spent many evenings staring in the bathroom mirror after Layla had gone to bed, wondering if his child would have his eyes; if the clump of cells inside his wife was a body yet; if it was a human yet. And once he was born Tom often wondered how they managed to make an entirely new person out of just their human bodies which, he realized when he watched his son successfully ride a bike for the first time, were no less meat than anything they sold at the butcher. Looking in the mirror he often wondered how he had made anything.

Tom rapped on the door gently. “Jake, we’re leaking again.” The sound of the shower through the door was more like a humming pulse than a rainfall. Tom knocked more insistently. “We’re leaking.” The hum continued.

Meghan Ritchie is a graduate of Sarah Lawrence College, where she studied writing and literature. She grew up in Fremont, California and now lives in Windsor Terrace.

Taxes and Class Warfare

March 24, 2011 By admin Filed Under: Politiki

We’re in a class war.
It’s the corporations and the very wealthiest against all the rest of us.
We’re losing.

What’s wrong with the rich getting richer?

In the United States, periods of high income inequality correlate with bubbles followed by crashes that include massive bank failures. They cue depressions and recessions. It happened in the 1920’s, the 1980’s, and then again in 2008.

Timothy Noah, in The United States of Inequality (Slate, 9/30/10), wrote, “Income distribution in the United States [has become] more unequal than in Guyana, Nicaragua, and Venezuela, and roughly on par with Uruguay, Argentina, and Ecuador.”

Take a look at that list.

Countries with wide income inequality don’t lead the world in research, technology, industry, and innovation. They’re unstable.

They have large under-classes. They have high rates of crime. They have little opportunity.

In such countries the rich have disproportionate power. They take control of all aspects of society, especially government, the police, and the judiciary. They become self-perpetuating.

If current trends continue, “the United States by 2043 will have the same income inequality as Mexico.” (Tula Connell, Mar 12, 2010, AFL-CIO Now).

The most important arguments against income inequality are not about morality or fairness. They are about the economic and social well-being of the nation. Countries with high levels of income inequality are third world countries.

The primary, and best, weapon against income inequality is a progressive tax structure.

As people move up the income ladder they pay a higher rate at each rung. It should also mean that unearned income –from dividends and capital gains – is taxed at least as high as earned income (money that people actually work for.)

Tax cuts for the wealthy mark, with great precision, the decline in fortunes of ordinary Americans. From World War II until the mid1960’s, the top marginal rate was 90%. (Yes, that’s the same America that Bill O’Reilly is so nostalgic for. Selective blindness.)

From 1950 to 1965 – with those high tax rates – median family income rose at a steady 4% a year, close to 60% over the full fifteen-year period. That’s in constant dollars, adjusted for inflation.

The first big tax cut came in 1964-65. The top rate went down to 70%.

The rise in median income instantly slowed down.

By 1970, median family income, adjusted for inflation, started to decline. There were more tax cuts from 1982 to 1988, bringing the top rate all the way down to 28%. It was ‘morning in America!’ Except not in terms of income for ordinary people. In 1995, median income was exactly where it had been in 1971. (Source: Stanford University)

It was only after Clinton’s comparatively modest tax hike – from 31%-38% – that income for ordinary people began to rise at a rate resembling that of 1950-1965.

Those gains came to an abrupt end with Bush the Younger’s tax cuts.

We had a chance to slow the process by letting them expire.

We’ve lost that round.

That happens to have been incredibly important, not just in and of itself, but because it is the launching pad for the next set of assaults.

Governments, like businesses, have revenue and costs.

Revenue comes from taxes. America thrived with a top marginal tax rate of 90%. Indeed, those years were the period of our greatest increase in wealth and well-being for all classes. The second period of greatest growth followed the Clinton tax hikes.

We also know, as a matter of fact, that tax cuts don’t produce jobs. We just watched that happen for eight years under Bush and we’re watching it continue under Obama.

We also know from recent history – the Clinton years – that even moderate tax hikes can transform huge deficits – from the tax cuts of the Reagan/Bush I years – into surpluses.

Yet tax hikes are off the table.

So we either must accept deficits – going and growing forever – or look to costs.

Unlike businesses, governments spend their money on the general good. They build physical infrastructure, provide clean water, get rid of sewage and garbage, provide health care and education, fire, police, and a justice system, set standards for health and safety, care for the poor and disabled, support the arts and sciences, collect and distribute information. Nowadays they provide ballast to the whole economic system. At the bottom, with unemployment insurance, workman’s compensations and social security, ant at the top, they rescue banks, insurance companies, and industries.

In America we also spend huge sums on our defense industry and on an assortment of wars. But those things, like tax hikes, are off the table.

So what do we cut?

Among the biggest ticket items on the newly announced Republican agenda is repeal of the Davis-Bacon Act.

Davis-Bacon, passed in 1931, under President Herbert Hoover, requires contractors on federal projects to pay the ‘prevailing wage.’ Most federal projects require bids. The government has to give the job to the lowest bidder. Without Davis-Bacon, federal jobs will go to the contractor who will use non-union workers, pay the lowest possible wages, even if that means importing desperate people who will work cheap and take the jobs away from the people who live and work where the project is being done.

Davis-Bacon is considered pro-union legislation. Right-wing think tank literature makes it clear getting rid of it is a way to strike out against unions.

After tax policy, unions are one of our strongest defenses in the class war.

Unions do more than raise wages. They improve working conditions and safety. They provide protection against abuse, intimidation, and wrongful dismissal. Non-union employers, in order to stay that way, have to offer something at least within range of union rates, so the existence of unions helps everyone. Unions also have political power, they spend money and mobilize their members to vote.

Businesses have become very good at beating unions. And they’re getting better at it. According to Business Week, “over the past two decades, Corporate America has perfected its ability to fend off labor groups.” (How Wal-Mart Keeps Unions at Bay, 10/28/2002),

In the 1940’s a third of private sector employees were unionized. Today, it’s down to just 7.2%.

Unions only remain strong in the public sector, where membership is 37%.

If you read the papers or watch the news, you will see an anti-public sector union story almost everyday. These are the people who teach your kids, pick up the trash, clean the sewers, drive the buses and trains, they’re the police and fireman.

Those stories will tell you that their pension fund liabilities will bankrupt the states. That it’s unionized teachers who have ruined our schools. Charter schools – without unions – are the new favorite charity for billionaires.

Tax cuts for the wealthy led to a mad speculative bubble, which led to a crash, causing the current deep recession, which has caused a tax revenue crisis across the board – not just for the federal government, but for states and local governments as well. So what’s the solution we’re being offered?

In New York’s last gubernatorial campaign, both major candidates ran as Ronald Reagans – “No new taxes! Cut services!” One of the Reagans won. With unemployment high, his cure is to cut jobs. Because this will magically create jobs. Nobody challenges this because – I guess – there are no children in the audience to cry out “The emperor has no clothes.” No logicians, either.

In an interview with Bloomberg News, John Lekas (a self-promoting fund manager), said many states and municipalities are facing bankruptcy. Schools will close, garbage won’t be collected, there will be fewer cops on the street. But who cares, there’s a silver lining. “The good news on that is they can jettison their pension obligations, jettison their union contracts.”

People made a deal – work twenty or twenty-five or thirty years – and when they retired, they would get a pension. But they’re ordinary shlubs, teachers, firemen, clerks, guys who drove snowplows and filled potholes, so thank God, we don’t have to pay them what we owe them.

Even better, we can start driving down the wages of current workers in those positions. We can fire anyone we don’t like, or who looks at us funny, or stands up for their rights … well, they won’t have any, will they?

Meantime, corporate profits are at an all time high.

Renewal and Rebirth

March 24, 2011 By admin Filed Under: Hypocrite's Almanac

It’s spring. It’s time for my yearly column about renewal or rebirth. Time for my impassioned demand that we all support our farmers and attempt to grow something in our window boxes and tree pits. Time for my plea for more political action around clean air and water issues. For some reason, I just can’t bring myself to do it this year. That winter we just endured left me bitter and uninspired. Fortunately for us, I’ve been neglecting my mail so I have my pick of the letter litter for this issue’s column. Do all the stuff that I should be telling you to do. There’s no better time than the spring to get off your tush and make your street/neighborhood/world a better place.

Hypocrite, My mother takes care of my kids afterschool. I know I am insanely lucky but as you can imagine we have our share of difficulties. The main one is that she wants them to do things earlier than I want them to. For example, she taught my young son how to light a match and my older daughter how to carve a roasted chicken. I would never allow them to perform these duties. What happens when they try these activities unsupervised? I believe she’s being careless and putting them in danger. She laughs and tells me I’m paranoid. They are my kids. How do I get her to respect my wishes?
– Mad Mom in Flatbush

Although this isn’t exactly a parenting question, I need to reflect on how much I abhor parenting questions. Not only do I hate ostracizing the 63% of New Yorkers (and 2.9% of Park Slopers) who don’t have a child, I detest the idea of telling someone how to handle something so personal and important with a couple careless quips of a hypocritical and sarcastic nature. Also, parenting is such sensitive territory that I’m bound to get a lot of action in my mailbox —a mailbox that’s still full from when I told you all to stop being so fake nice to each other and grow a pair. (Did ya?)

But since this column goes against all I believe (what, me hypocrite-y?), I will now write half of it only for people who have changed or are in the process of changing a gazillion diapers. Childfree people, I’m sorry. Next column will be about the midnight, nude, nature hikes in Central Park that are parent-free by design (if these hikes don’t exist, they should).

Everyone who raised a kid feels that they could write a how-to book. Some don’t actually need to write, but will offer unsolicited advice instead, frequently to strangers. Riding the bus in Brooklyn gets me all the parenting advice I need. “Put a coat on that child.” “That child is hungry. Don’t you have any food?” “You need to take that child home and put it to bed.” Thank you. Thank you so much. I just got this kid yesterday and I am so thankful for your wonderful, sage advice.

That being said, now I will submit my list of parenting tips of things I have been doing very, very right. I admit I have done wrong. I keep the very, very wrong tip list in a safe place so my kids can’t bring it to the therapists they see when there are supposedly at “school.” I must confess some of the things on the very, very right list I really didn’t do at all. I include them because they are funny and because some (few) people religiously look to my column for distraction, not for practical help. If you are really in need of parenting help, please seek a professional. I am a non-licensed, free-of-charge life coach, not an authority on how to prevent your kids from abandoning you when you get old and overripe.

And to you clowns in the back row, know that I might repeat some things I’ve written about in the past. If that makes you mad and you feel like you’re not getting your money’s worth this issue, I refer you to the cost of this publication—free. That’s right, it’s free advice. If you want brand new advice, shell out six bucks for a copy of Glamour—a publication that never repeats itself (insert sarcastic eye roll here). This month, it lays out step-by-step instructions on how to moisturize after a shower. Finally! Mystery solved!

Here are my tips. The first one responds directly to the letter writer.
For cripes sake, teach your children skills. So many parents won’t let their kids pour milk, let alone light a match. I can hear you saying, “My kid will slice his finger off or light the house on fire.” OK, if you really think that is a realistic concern, then wait another year. But don’t keep your child in the dark with only a spoon for defense because of your over-protective leanings. I let my own kid light a match at six, supervised. At eight I will teach him how to use a knife, supervised. Am I a whacko? Maybe. Will I wake up with a knife in my back in a bed on fire? I really don’t think so. (If I do, this column is going to be famous!) If you really are nervous about fire and knives, at least teach them how to use a can opener. Your kids should learn how to make soup so they can take care of you when you get the flu.

Talk about emotions: bad moods, silly moods, quiet moods, etc. Foster their emotional intelligence. This will help define your actions when they appear erratic. “Mommy was in a very, very angry mood,” you can say after you kick the dishwasher with your clog and dent the door preventing it from closing ever again.

Make your kids promise that when they get to be teenagers and they tell you that they hate you it will be because their hormones are out of control. Make them say that they love you very much and always will, forever. Get it on tape. Play it back for them when they tell you they hate you. Laugh hysterically.

Don’t tell your kids how bad you suck at math or how much you hate your job. Lie if questioned. If you can’t lie, get better at math and get a new job. You are a role model. Stop bitching about things. They will repeat every thing you say. The parenting challenge is to nurture a human being into someone better than you. Avoid creating a younger version of you with your same limitations, prejudices and hang-ups.

Give away your children’s neglected toys when they are at school. Chances are they won’t remember them at all. If they do, you can tell them the truth or you can fake-look for a while and tell them it will turn up like mommy’s earring did that time. It can be very mysterious when a once-treasured tricycle goes missing, but weirder things have happened. This might be a good time to tell them about Roswell, New Mexico.

When you drop the F-bomb (for the old-timers: the swear word that rhymes with “tuck”) tell your kids that some words are reserved for adults. They are very special and used only in times of great adult stress. They haven’t experienced adult stress yet. When they do, they can feel free to use the special word.

Let your kids get bored. But, tell them if they tell you how bored they are, you will take money out of their piggy bank. One dollar for every time they use the word “bored.” Fifty cents for every heavy sigh.

And lastly, try to reclaim some of your pre-kid character when you didn’t worry about BPAs and wannabe bullies at your local school. Do something you wouldn’t do with your son or daughter watching. Or maybe with anyone watching. Did I just tell you to pick your nose? Maybe, if that’s the first thing you thought of. There’s a song on the Free to Be You and Me soundtrack with the lyrics: “Parents are people. People with children. People with children who used to be kids, but then they grew.” I didn’t realize my mom was a person until she locked us out of the house and dropped that previously named F-bomb when the ladder she had put up to the second story window to break in started falling back on her. After that, everything she did was up for consideration. Were hamburgers the best meal for a school night? Was red the right color for the hall throw rug? Did the mouse in our bread drawer have to be killed? Couldn’t we live together in mouse/man harmony? Even though I gave her a little more lip, I also acquired an itsy bit of empathy for the woman who fed and clothed me for so many years. Show your kid that you’re a person who just happens to be a parent. It will be good for both of you.

That’s all the parenting advice I can bear to give. Now I will make an abrupt change of subject, a move of which I am known for in the free-of-charge hypocritical life coach circles in which I run. Here’s a letter that has absolutely nothing, not one word, to do with being a parent.

Hypocrite, I am what you call “part of the solution.” I have a socially responsible job, I volunteer at my local soup kitchen; I belong to a CSA and shop at the farmer’s market, I am a passionate recycler; I will bring a tray of lasagna to a neighbor when they take ill. You get the idea. Recently, I’ve been doing bad things and can’t seem to help myself. In the past week I have eaten a whole carton of Little Debbie’s in one sitting, thrown three jumbo yogurt containers away in the regular trash, accused my dry cleaner of lying; stolen some shoelaces, and let my dog run in the playground when kids weren’t there. All of these behaviors have left me flush with excitement. I feel like I’m a schoolgirl again, sleeping with my English teacher. What happens next? Will I end up doing time?
– Mean in Queans

I’m stuck on shoelaces. You stole shoelaces? Honestly, everything else you did seems defendable but the stealing of shoelaces. Maybe I need more information on that one. Were your shoes falling off and you didn’t have any money? Were they your shoelaces originally? And wait, when you were a schoolgirl did you really sleep with your English teacher or was that just an expression? It’s hard to tell if you’re having a conscience crisis or if you’re crazypants. I’m just going to assume the former for the sake of brevity. This column is already running long.

OK Mean, I think that within your social community there’s a lot of pressure to Namaste and all that. Your dark side is yearning to be recognized and is in the midst of staging a teeny coup. There’s nothing wrong with scarfing down some highly processed snack cakes but I agree with your concern. You sound a little unhinged (if you weren’t already). At this point I have to tell you to see a professional because when I do that you can’t sue me. Now that I’ve done that, I’ll tell you that you should seek out things that feel good (in a bad girl kind of way) but don’t hurt anyone or anything. This brings me to everyone’s favorite subject, SEX. Are you getting any? Could you get some? Fast? I sincerely believe that getting laid is the answer to your problem. That’s usually the answer to most problems. Mine, anyway.

Well, that was simple. Thanks for the letters. They help out in a pinch. So, enjoy the spring. See you next time.

Little House on the Slope

March 24, 2011 By admin Filed Under: Dispatches From Babyville

I’m not much of a fan of historical fiction. Details about how women laced their corsets in Victorian England or what kind of muskets soldiers used in the Revolutionary War typically bore me to tears. But now that most of my reading is done at my children’s bedtime, my standards and tastes have, well, shifted. Now that I spend my nights reading Junie B. Jones and Snow White: A Castle Mystery, a well-wrought piece of literature like Little House on the Prairie is a welcome relief, even if it does include a step-by-step, ten-page description of how to make a stone hearth. Yes, that Ingalls Wilder minx has got me hooked, big time.

Admittedly, it was a slow start. It took a full 50 pages to push beyond Flat-Out Dull, then we moved into Potentially Appealing to People with Very Low Expectations but after the pack of wolves rolled into the prairie, at the book’s mid-way point, it’s been an Old-School Page Turner. Now, I am so deeply invested in the fate of the Ingalls that I have been jumping ahead to the next paragraph while reading out loud to my 5 year-old, Giovanni, and sometimes reading ahead after he goes to sleep.

My husband once caught me doing this: “Don’t tell me you’re reading ahead without him?”

“I can’t help it! It’s been four days since Pa left for Independence Town to trade furs and he’s still not back yet! And there’s a panther on the loose! A panther! Did you know those were indigenous to the US?”

Reading Little House on the Prairie is like eating a really good apple. It’s not the most flashy or fancy or complicated fruit around, but the simple wholesome goodness of a nice, crisp apple will knock your socks off: so much so that you’ll find yourself tasting mangoes and kiwis and feeling like they just try too hard.

While I enjoy the lyrical language, the well-drawn characters, and the compelling conflicts, the thing I really love about the book is how grateful it makes me that I live in the 21st century.

Being a pioneer person sucked. It didn’t suck a little like when your favorite Thai place around the corner closes down. It sucked big-time, like when you and your whole family get ague and die of malaria.

It delights me to no end to discover all the things they didn’t have back then, that are totally indispensable for life on earth. I’m not talking about little perks like color-safe conditioner or the internet. I’m talking about nails. The kind you hit with a hammer. Now, if you’re like me, and can’t hang a picture without the intervention of a handyman, you may live a perfectly undisturbed life without nails. But when you recall that these poor pioneer schmucks had to make their own houses, you’ll understand how having a plentiful supply of nails would be convenient. For most people, the lack of ironware would be a deal-breaker. I, for one, would call a family meeting amidst the tumbleweeds and say, “Well, kids, we gave it the old college try, but I guess we’ll just have to remain homeless, sleep in the dirt, get frostbite and be eaten alive by wolves. What other choice do we have? I mean, we can’t very well make nails, for crying out loud!”

But Pa Ingalls did just that, felling trees with his ax, hauling the logs back to his barren homestead and carving thousands of tiny pointy pegs out of wood to use as nail substitutes.

I don’t even have enough energy to make a salad with pre-washed spinach.

Not only did pioneer people have to build their own houses, they had to build wells. This didn’t seem like a big deal to me until I read in painstaking detail for 20 pages just what one must do to build a well. And let me tell you, those pages should be incorporated into a Scared-Straight program somewhere. Having to make a well – the weeks of digging, the building of a pulley to get rid of the dirt, the avoiding of fatal invisible gases which lurk deep in the earth – would be more of a deterrent to a life of crime for me than prison. After all, they have running water in prison. And you don’t have to eat bean soup and prairie chicken night after night after night.

Giovanni and I agreed that if we ever had the terrible misfortune of being pioneers, we’d do without a well. We’d get our water by walking two miles to the creek every time. We’d drink less. We’d be stinking and foul from lack of baths. That, or we’d mooch off a more ambitious neighbor: “Hey, you don’t mind if we take a few buckets of this swell well water and wash our hair, right? Here, we brought you a prairie chicken.”

The only reason, as far as I can tell, that these pathologically stoic people didn’t off themselves right from the start was that there was tobacco, coffee and liquor.

Of course, these details, while deliciously awful to me, don’t mean much to Giovanni since for all he knows, I did build our apartment building with homemade nails, using my head as a hammer. But there was one part of our historical fiction foray which was meaningful to him, and that was the Christmas chapter. As December 25th nears, Laura and Mary twist their long braids and worry, like any child, about whether Santa will come. In their case, its not a matter of whether they’ve been good enough (these kids cook and clean more than a pair of Cinderellas) but whether the man in red will be able to cross the high creek.

“Don’t they know Santa has flying reindeer?” asked Giovanni.

“I know, right?” I said, thinking that these pioneer kids had zero freaking imagination and no television to blame.

In nothing short of a Christmas miracle, their bachelor neighbor hikes 20 miles in the snow without an overcoat to the nearest town where he picks up the girls’ presents from Santa. And those presents are:

A tin cup of their very own

A tiny heart-shaped cake made with white flour

A real penny

And the children are so overcome with gratitude, so beside themselves with joy, that they can hardly speak. Do they dare to bite into their heart-shaped cake? They do not. Before they even think about eating it, they’ll use it as a play-thing, since all they’ve had to play with for the better part of a year has been – you guessed it – prairie chickens.

Giovanni looked depressed at the whole pathetic situation: “That’s all they got?”

“To them it was riches beyond imagining!” I exclaimed, “You see, some children are so unfortunate they don’t even have a tin cup of their own, they have to share it with their mother who drinks black coffee out of that thing. And by the way, have you ever even drank out of a tin cup? It makes everything taste TINNY. You’d hate it.”

“I’m so glad we don’t live in pioneer times.” he shuddered.

“You and me both,” I agreed.

I luxuriate in the assurance that living in New York – where if you can make it here, you’ll make it anywhere – means I choose the hard route, unlike those lily-livered suburbanites, who don’t have to circle the block for two hours to park or carry their groceries and double stroller up three flights of stairs. I enjoy using the term “living the life of Riley” derisively, to refer to other people. But now I know that I’m the one living on Easy Street. And it didn’t even take me working for the Peace Corps to realize it. It just took a children’s book.

You can read more of Nicole’s adventures in her Little House in the Slope on her blog A Mom Amok, amomamok.blogspot.com

Starter Bride Guide

March 24, 2011 By admin Filed Under: Shop Local

We all know that as a bride you assume a huge amount of responsibility while planning a wedding. Therefore, we would like to offer assistance this spring by suggesting that you shop local as you prepare for your special day.

There are a couple of reasons to shop local. First, your life will be easier when vendors are nearby to answer questions and take care of last-minute details. Second, this is a highly talented community where you can find unique goods and services of the highest quality. Third, and perhaps most importantly, your guests will get a peek into the life that you and your partner-to-be have built together in Brooklyn. Check out our “Starter Bride Guide” below as you research local options for everything from your dress and the cake to wedding party gifts and advice.

Venue & Entertainment
The Bell House is a premiere Brooklyn venue for music and private events. According to events coordinator Andrew Mumm, “the Bell House offers two beautiful rooms that your guests can move freely to and fro. Being a live music venue, the large room offers a state-of-the-art sound system … The rustic wooden arched ceilings are complimented by two handsome brass chandeliers which really create a unique aesthetic! It is not uncommon for couples to actually have their ceremony with us as well. The 450-square-foot stage is the perfect spot to exchange those vows!” Find out more by emailing wedding booker Naomi Pelham at naomi@thebellhouseny.com.

Don’t stress too much.
Planning a wedding should be fun and seamless!

Slope Music offers music lessons as well as live music for clubs and private events. “Live music has always been what sets the tone, the feeling, of a great wedding party,” says director Charles Sibirsky. What can Slope Music offer you? “We play soft music for dining, all kinds of music for dancing including rock, ballroom, line dancing and all types of Latin dancing such as cha cha, rumba, merengue.” Visit slopemusic.com or call (718) 768-3804 for additional details.

Hire a great live band. DJs provide recorded music.

Dresses & Accessories
Head to Guvnor’s Vintage for affordably priced, top quality, and highly fashionable vintage and secondhand apparel. Owner Suzette Sundae encourages brides shopping for dresses to stop by: “we offer a large selection of vintage dresses and gowns, many of which could be suitable for brides and bridesmaids.” Guvnor’s Vintage is located at 78 Fifth Avenue. Call (718) 230-GUVS (4887) or email info@ guvnorsnyc.com with inquiries. Also check out Beacon’s Closet, the clothing exchange store located at 92 Fifth Avenue. This shop specializes in vintage and ultramodern styles, and it’s certainly the place to find the proverbial “something old.” Co-owner Carrie Peterson reports that “we have vintage jewelry, and some select nighties, beautiful legwear, and interesting shoes, maybe even the dress if they are looking for something unique.” Contact the Beacon’s Closet at service@beaconscloset.com or (718) 230-1630.

Don’t blow all of your money on a ceremony or a dress!

Planning Help
At Blue Canary Events, couples seeking a stress-free wedding planning experience will find the help they need. Owner Laura Auer says her company “specializes in month-of wedding coordination, which means you do the planning and we step in and take over for those last few weeks. This ensures everything is pulled together and that the wedding day will go smoothly. It’s nice to pass the planning details to someone else so you can relax and enjoy the day with your family, friends, and new spouse!” To inquire about Blue Canary Events, visit the Contact Us page at www.bluecanaryevents.com.

The reception (venue, catering, alcohol and rentals) should run about 50-55% of the total budget. The remaining half is for photography, flowers, attire, transportation, invitations, and all the little tiny expenses that pop up along the way.

Prospect Park Boathouse. The Movable Feast, in-house caterer. Photo by Ellen Berson

Catering & The Cake
The Movable Feast serves those seeking creative catering services with locally sourced food and elegant flowers and staff. In addition to catering services, owner Ellen Berson says that The Movable Feast offers “help with finding the perfect location, either at The Prospect Park Boathouse, where we are the in-house caterers or at 30 locations all over New York City. We can help find the most talented florist, the perfect officiant and the perfect music source.” Contact Ellen at ppw284ellen@aol.com or phone (718) 965-2900.

Connect with professionals who have your personal needs in mind and can help with all aspects of events.

Purple Orchid Cake. Photo by Michelle Doll Cakes

Michelle Doll Cakes offers couture cakes and treats for party planners. According to the owner Michelle Doll, “we specialize in cakes covered in realistic sugar flowers to favor bags of special cookies for guests.” Email michelle@michelledollcakes.com to set up tastings and discuss your cake and dessert needs.

Relax and enjoy it. Get as much of the planning out of the way as soon as possible so you can concentrate on the fun of being engaged. If it starts to feel like too much work, scale it back and concentrate on the parts that are most important to you.

Lion In The Sun Invitations. Photo by David Morris

Invitations
Lion in the Sun is a paperie specializing in unique custom invitations and distinctive stationery. This is the place to go if you believe, as David and his business partner and wife Melinda Morris do that, “invitations are such an important component of the wedding, it is the first taste of the big exciting day. We think your invitation should equally reflect the importance of the event and that your guests should feel honored and excited to be attending your wedding.” Visit Lion in the Sun at 232 Seventh Avenue, www.lioninthesunps.com or www.postscriptbrooklyn.com. You may also call (718) 369-4006 or email shop@lioninthesunps.com.

Enjoy the process. Remember that this is a great big party to honor your commitment to each other, surrounded by the people in the world who love you both the most, that it is a joyful occasion and to try and not let the stress of planning a wedding taint that. Don’t sweat the small stuff if you can, and remember that after your big day you have a lifetime together. And that’s the best part.

Jewelry
The Clay Pot carries contemporary bridal designs from more than 100 small studios. “We offer Canadian, conflict-free diamonds, recycled metals and resetting services for family stones,” said coowner Tara Silberberg. “We have a wide selection of wedding bands and engagement rings, our web site is a wonderful resource for couples, but a visit to the store is a must!” Stop by any day of the week to start the wedding planning process: 162 Seventh Avenue. Additionally, you may contact The Clay Pot at (718) 788-6564 x22 or info@clay-pot.com

Your wedding ring is the one reminder of this special event that you will look at every day for the rest of your life. Finding a ring that you love, that is special and timeless is our goal for you.

Urban Alchemist was conceived in 2008 as “part retail store, part gallery, and part artisan salon” with custom-made jewelry according to the manager Erica Schwartz. The shop is cooperatively run by local designers and, as a result, offers an eclectic mix of work by independent designers and select vintage finds. “Most days of the week you are likely to find one of our jewelry designers on-site. So come in, pick a style, and find out how to contact the designer of your choice. She (or he) will be happy to work with you to create the piece or set of your dreams. Whether it’s a special piece for the bride to wear or a set of necklaces for your bridesmaids, cuff links for your groomsmen or even unusual rings.” Visit the store at 343 Fifth Street to speak to the designer on-site that day, or visit urbanalchemiststore.com to locate email addresses for all our coop members.

Don’t be afraid to be creative! You should never be limited to what you see in an artist’s repertoire. See what’s out there, find an artist you like, and then ask them to make what YOU really want.

Beauty Services
Amy Zdunowski-Roeder has made a name as a celebrity makeup artist, hair stylist, groomer and special effects artist. When asked what the most important service a bride should purchase from her is, Amy replied, “Makeup! Because I will take good care of them and make them look absolutely beautiful on their big day.” Get in touch with Amy at azroeder@gmail.com, (917) 517-4020 (cell) or Facebook (Amy Zdunowski Roeder).

(1) Prepare your skin! Facials should be done at least two weeks prior to the wedding because accidental scarring or breakouts could occur and you will need time to heal. (2) Drink water! Water will keep you hydrated, flush out impurities in your body and give you a refreshing glow all the way to your wedding day. (3) Relax and savor every minute of your big day!

Bridesmaid Gifts
According to its Web site, Homebody Boutique is “the shopping destination for those who look for creative and unique items that can express their individuality.” Come here for personalized, unique gifts for the bridal party. “A few months ago a bride bought a slew of Jen Liseo’s $14 tote bags for her party, printed with Brooklyn landmarks (the Cyclone, the Kentile Floors Sign in Gowanus, the station sign at the Smith and Ninth Street subway station) and she got some letterpress ‘thank you’ cards as well.” Find everything from jewelry and etched pint glasses to fun, off-the-wall gifts for bridal showers and bachelorette parties.” Walk to 449 Seventh Avenue to check it out, or call (718) 369-8980 or email info@homebodyboutique.com.

Relaxation
Sage Spa is a boutique spa that offers massage and holistic facials in a serene setting. Whether you need to relax during the planning stage or wind down after the wedding day, find the calm you need here. Owner Susan Stratton says, “the massage and holistic facial combination is a great choice for brides. Our holistic facials leave your skin glowing…perfect for your wedding.” To set up an appointment, call (718) 832-2030.